I came across this quote on the social medias today and I have been thinking about it all day. I actually sent it to a couple of my friends who exemplify this type of friendship in my life. I could have sent it to more.
This is the type of woman I aim to be. I, sadly, haven't always been a friend like in this quote. There are times when cattiness and gossip have leaked their way in, particularly in my younger years. But it is something I am more cognitive of as I have gotten older. I have been on the other side of gossip. I have overheard or had rumors make their way back to me of something hurtful a friend has said about me when I thought they were a safe person. It is painful and feels like emotional whiplash. I've learned lessons on both sides. The main lesson is how can I be a safe person for someone else and how do I find those safe friendships?
Back in high school, I was lamenting to my mom one afternoon about my lack of dating. I could probably count the dates I was asked on during my teen years on one hand. I remember my mom's response: "But look at what an amazing group of girlfriends you have. You have so much fun together." Then she leveled with me: "More dating will come in college and you will likely find some lucky guy who will stick around. But you will always need girlfriends. You will always need female relationships, especially when you are married and when you are a mom. It is great that you are learning how to build those friendships now." Have I mentioned my mother is a wise woman? How very right she was.
Now, in my 30's, I'm grateful for my friend who is pursuing graduate degrees while I stay home with my kids and try to write books. We are each other's biggest cheerleaders. I'm grateful for the friend who when we share our different plans of how to celebrate a holiday with our kids, we gave each other a figurative high-five and said "Cool, I'm doing things differently than you, but I really love what you are creating with your family" instead of thinking the other person is more creative or a better mom than ourselves. I'm grateful for the friend I have shared some deep heartache in confidence with and she hasn't breathed a word about it to anyone else for years now.
There are so many ways to be that safe friend and do we ever need it in a world that sets women up to be judged against one another. I believe there is power in female friendships. There is power in lifting others. There is power in cheering people on, even if they get their dream before yours. So be powerful.
Comments
Post a Comment